Habits that help us to improve and strengthen our relationships

Habits:

• The Presence

• Active listening

• Meditation

• Contemplation

Benefits:

• Less re-activity

• Conflict resolution

• Clarity

• Understanding

• Change in perception

• We let go of the role of victim, judge or savior and position ourselves in the ADULT role.

Active listening is a powerful tool that helps us to perceive in a different way than we have been used to. Most of us are so full of beliefs, judgments and meanings that when we converse with another person we cloud the message that the other person wants to transmit, receiving a distorted message.

Most of the time we do not really listen due to lack of presence and this can be evidenced by observing how our internal dialogue does not stop commenting or judging when we are having a conversation with another person.

And we can apply the same to ourselves, when we are presented with a situation that creates some kind of imbalance and we do not give ourselves the space to actively listen to what dwells in the mind, it is really difficult to bring resolution.

If we apply active listening and lower the volume of internal dialogue, when we open ourselves to receive the other person's message, we will be able to receive valuable information that will help us to bring some kind of solution, we will also be able to evidence the values by which the person is governed and in turn, we can see the needs and requests of this person, thus creating a space in which both parties are taken into consideration bringing resolution to the conflict.

When we are present and apply active listening, we do it from the Adult and not from the child who victimizes, nor from the Judge who criticizes or from the Rescuer who seeks to rescue.

The more we practice these habits the less our outbursts will be, instead of re-acting to the stimuli of the external world, presence will allow us to act from a state in which we can evidence what the situation is asking of us and act or act accordingly.

Allowing ourselves moments of contemplation is beneficial because in this way we practice presence, we gradually let go of thoughts of the past or worries of the future, anchoring ourselves in the here and now. It helps us to observe both our inner and outer worlds without judgment.

Meditation is a habit that helps us to improve our attention levels, in conjunction with active listening it helps us to apply observation so that we let go of judgment and contemplate that which asks to be re-evaluated as it is.

As we cultivate and apply these habits in our daily life and in ourselves, we will be able to apply them in our relationships, being able to bond from a state that implies an intention to create resolution in conflicts, creating union and harmony.