Congruence in the educational environment

We call Congruence the state where words, tone of voice, body language and actions convey the same message, are complementary and coherent.

"Words that come from the mouth, reach the ear. Words that come from the heart, reach the heart."

When we feel congruence or coherence with ourselves, and others also perceive this coherence, a good dose of truthfulness is generated .

When we are parents or educators and we are congruent with what we say, feel and do, our children or students, perceive it fully and it generates confidence in them, positioning us in the place that corresponds to us as educators and being an example for them to model. They will learn to be congruent with themselves.

Incongruence is perceived when a person sends multiple opposing messages.

If there is any incongruence with what I say, feel and do, surely there is an internal struggle, an internal imbalance that will have to be balanced.

When we are incongruent, others perceive this and it generates distrust not only in others, but also at an unconscious level, of oneself.

Incongruent parents or educators have distrustful and incongruent children or learners.

If you tell your child or student not to use the cell phone while eating or talking, because it is rude and interrupts the family meal or conversation, and he sees you answer a message or take a call:

What do you think he will think?

Will he trust your directions?

The biggest incongruities are with ourselves. And they are closely related to doing things that you don't feel or go against yourself or your core values.

This ultimately generates feelings of stress, anxiety and even depression.

It is essential to stop and think and ask questions:

• Is what I do and what I say what I really feel?

• And is it aligned with my core values?

And if an inconsistency is detected, it is important to ask yourself:

• What am I doing this for?

It is of great importance to recognize our inconsistencies in order to address them and in turn generate more honest and coherent bonds with our children or students.